Blitz!

On the phone with Parker:

"Oh, they're playing the Blue Ball Splits!"

(We were listening to 'Ballroom Blitz.')

Hands Off My Noodle!!

During our fantastic annual trip at Lake Powell.

Everyone decided it was time to go for a swim after being warmed up by the hot, southern Utah sun. As customary, a foam noodle can substitute a life jacket if you're just going to kick around in the water for a bit. Jay swam up to Debbie with his noodle and asked if she wanted to accompany him. Debbie protested. Here's what followed:

"He asked if I wanted to share his noodle, and he just keeps shoving this thing up me!"

Old Friends

Debbie was with Alycia, meeting up with some old friends. Alycia saw an old friend

Debbie- "Hey, is that Chelsea?"
Alycia- "Yeah!"
Debbie- "Oh hey! I didn't recognize her without your guys' legs up in the air."

(Alycia and Chelsea did some leg wrestling years ago on a school tour)

Rods And Cones

Lake Powell

Jay was telling the story about his car accident that occurred on his mission. A supporting rod was placed in his leg. During the conversation, a dirty joke was told. This just happened to be the time when Debbie walked in, to which she added

"You should have seen his rod, it was this big!"

Classic

While in the car

Jay (Debbie's husband) was driving with Debbie in the passenger seat. When the time came to shift to a different gear, Jay pushed in the clutch and said "shift," indicating to Debbie to pull/push the shift nob. Nothing happened. Jay again said "shift." Again, nothing. One more time Jay said "shift!" This time when nothing happened he turned to see Debbie pushed against the passenger door and then remarked "I can't shift any further!"

This was one of their first dates.

Little Girl's Camp

At Girl's Camp
A common prank had taken place in which IcyHot was rubbed all over toilet seats. Debbie was in a room with other girls, not realizing that there was an open door which led to a separate room in which the entire stake had commenced in saying a prayer. During the prayer, all who were bowing their heads suddenly heard:

"Don't touch the toilet!!"

Pawn Shop

Mind you, Debbie is from England

"We're so excited to go to the pawn shop"
Sounds like:
"We're so excited to go to the porn shop"

Followed by:
"We'll see Rick, he's huge!"
"And the other guy, he's huge! You know, the guys from Porn Stars?"

F's

The Disms- "I need to go felch the books"

"Are you felching my money?"

Rebuttal- "Do we need to explain to you what felch means?"

Debbie- "No"

Katie's Home!!!!

While on the phone with her daughter, Alycia.

-Alycia's good friend, Katie, had just returned from her mission. Alycia had not yet seen her in person but had talked to her on the phone. Jameson, one of Debbie's sons came in the house to find Debbie on the phone with Alycia. Jameson quickly gloated to Alycia, "I saw Katie before you!" Which was relayed through Debbie.

Alycia responded "Well I got to talk to her first, so suck it!"

Debbie's relay: "Well she was the first one to suck it!"

C's

Nothing tastes quite like homemade baked
"Pumpkin chip c***s"

Or maybe you feel like a tasty cereal, something like
"Cinnamon-Toast C***s"

Cinema

The Movie: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

The Dism: The Apprentice's Bone

A Classic

"Can I pinch one of your nuggets?"

Secret Cussing

What was meant:

"Buck a Fuffalo"
&
"Knucking Futs"

What was said:
The opposite

The Greatest Quote

"RUDE!"

A Door And A Jar

Debbie's favorite joke:

"When is the door a jar?... When it's open!!!!"

What was meant: When is the door not a door? When it's ajar.